Author: ellie

I Don’t Believe You – P!nk. I remember initially thinking that this wasn’t permanent; “oh well, he’s blocked me again but he’ll be back.” This time, he never came back, and that was very hard to believe. I found out what happened through the real Matthew, and it was truly devastating. I couldn’t believe I’d…

High – 5 Seconds of Summer “Thank you, Ellie. I love you too. Only a few days until I see you again.” That was the last text message I ever received from him before I was ghosted. I really struggled finding a song to allocate to this chapter as I truthfully have no idea what…

Fall For You – Secondhand Serenade. Looking back at it all now, I wish I’d pushed harder that he wouldn’t go to his school formal. I was either far too trusting, or he was too good at convincing me we’d get through it. Either way, the school formal was the last night we were to…

Rich Girl – Daryl Hall & John Oates When “Tyler” and I were on the blanket, sitting by the beach, we had music playing from his phone. One of the songs I remember from that night was Rich Girl because he knew all the words flawlessly. The hill that we sat on had a myriad…

You’re Losing Me – Taylor Swift I was one of the fortunate ones who was able to go to The Eras Tour and for the surprise songs of the evening, she sang this one live. It was the only time I cried during the whole concert because it had genuinely struck a nerve. Although this…

Say Something – A Great Big World, Christina Aguilera Every time I reflect on this moment in time, I truly wish I’d been strong enough to walk away. I was unhappy and felt so weakened by him. I knew I deserved better than what he offered me but believed we could get back to where…

Rasputin – Boney M. Another one that came back to me as this song played in a bar I was drinking at. I hardly recognised it at first, but the memory started leaking into my brain. We listened to this on our third visit and he had decided to wear one of my nightgowns—one that…

Perfect – Ed Sheeran It’s almost as if that by getting to the tricky end of the story, it’s caused an abundance of memories to resurge. But, another long forgotten song that once meant something to us has slithered its way back into my brain. On our second trip, we did go camping. But first,…

Addicted – Kelly Clarkson I still have the cocktail dress that I had intended to wear to his party. It used to be my favourite. I remember the elongated, creaky voice that came out of my mouth after screaming. The lipstick colour was red and I truly did scrawl those words out across the bathroom…

Can’t Help Falling In Love (Elvis Cover) – Twenty One Pilots I had a memory that I had long forgotten. I actually recorded myself singing this song to the real Tyler and sending it to him in the earlier days of our relationship. I felt myself convulsing in bed. Remembering this tainted me. But, in…