High – 5 Seconds of Summer
“Thank you, Ellie. I love you too. Only a few days until I see you again.”
That was the last text message I ever received from him before I was ghosted.
I really struggled finding a song to allocate to this chapter as I truthfully have no idea what was going through his brain that night. All I know is one minute we were okay and he was going to his school formal, and the next morning he was gone.
I know he cheated on me; I have no proof as the girl in question and “Tyler” never went on to date, but I just have a gut instinct that he did. A woman knows.
As well as that, I also struggled to write this chapter as I could only imagine the events that transpired on the actual night. I like to think that they played out somewhat similarly, but that’s probably because otherwise it contradicts my own closure. It couldn’t possibly have occurred differently because then that wouldn’t be what I’ve accepted to be true.
There are elements of truth in this song, as Tyler thought I always expected too much of him, and I think he felt threatened being with someone who was more intelligent than him. He always had a chip on his shoulder because I was more privileged than him and had better opportunities. I was too young to see it at the time, though, and how this was a red flag.
I hope that whatever happened that night was worth it, Tyler, because it was worth it for me—I wrote a book based on my trauma and I’m going to be a published author.
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