4 In The Morning – Gwen Stefani.
Another chapter and another struggle to find a song that perfectly aligns with the content and themes of the story. I guess it’s been nearly seven years since I’ve had these all consuming love and happy feelings towards this relationship, so taking myself back into that headspace can feel a little inorganic at times.
As I read back my work, I can see the difference in the maturity between Della and Tye. Della desperately tries her best to detach herself from Evan’s party so she can address her bitterness with Tyler the following morning, but ultimately lets it slip after being lied to just moments before. Tyler immediately tries abandoning the relationship and betrays Della’s trust.
This is why I associate this chapter with “4 In The Morning” as it’s clear Della is investing everything she can into this relationship—she’s willing to move to Sydney, she’s willing to help with Tyler’s school work, she’s willing to use drugs to fit in and impress his friends, her family knows of their romantic relationship. However, Tyler hasn’t invested much into their relationship and that imbalance is starting to show. At first we think it’s because of Tyler’s inexperience and that he doesn’t know how to navigate a relationship as well as his personal problems, but the truth begins to reveal itself later on…
As a side note, I remember being up until 4 in the morning while having this fight before retiring to my bed. Thinking it was over, I remember this sickening feeling in my stomach and feeling as if I was going to vomit due to the shock. Being betrayed and broken up with in such a way blindsided me and Tyler using those words that held such weight like they were nothing destroyed me. I guess it was one of the reasons why it took me so long to believe it was over as he always came back, and this was just the start of it…
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