Burning – Sam Smith
I scrolled through my Fallen Through playlist for a while trying to find a song that fit this chapter, but I struggled today. It’s the first time that he broke up with me, and as there are still twenty chapters of the novel remaining, it’s clear that isn’t the end of us.
I remember the shock and anger I felt though; some truths that were shared by the real Matthew that absolutely destroyed me. It was the first time I vomited from shock; I didn’t even know that was a thing.
I still think that’s one of the worst things someone has ever said to me though; being told he only stayed so my mental health could “recover” enough and I could be someone else’s problem. It still stings every time I reread his words knowing that they were said to me with such cruel intentions.
I also felt so used financially; buying his friends alcohol to pick up, I bought him a TV, and he asked for money too. I didn’t know any better; I thought that’s what love was. I thought he’d do the same for me if he were able to. He wouldn’t.
Leave a Reply